Background
In the year 1150, after the end of the 4th Crusade, the fragile treaties that existed in northern Europe began to be broken. Some of these European treaty infractions included crossing over into another country without purchasing a ‘Pass through the Port’ tourist guide, stealing cheese recipes from a foreign cheese masters, and eating and importing fruit that was patented by another country.
The primary offending country of these treaties was England. These infractions mostly stemmed form the French portion of their treaties. The only individuals who spoke French in the British Empire were perfume merchants; so much of the French wording was never translated if it did not deal with aromatics.
Over time, the French shut down all relations with the British and barred the English from visiting France. The British government thought that the French were planning an invasion so the decision was made that the English army would strike first.
Upon hearing of the English invasion, the French rallied their troops and barricaded themselves inside the walls of Paris. They did not have a sufficient fighting force at the time due to a campaign they were waging in Italy in an attempt to gain access to more honey bees.
Once the English army reached Paris, they devised a plan. The English would lay siege to Paris and taunt the French with their English poetry until the French surrendered. The problem with this plan was that the French were in no hurry to leave Paris. The walls of Paris were so high that the uncoordinated tones of verse were never heard by the French populous.
The French food stores were also located inside the Parisian walls. The entire population that was residing inside the city during that time could be sustained for 2 to 3 years. The British on the other had were shortsighted and thought that the French would surrender in a matter of weeks. Within a month the British army began polishing off the last of their rations.
While the starving British soldiers waited outside the walls of Paris, the French army and the Parisian citizens began creating diversions to pass the time. The French navy staged great naval battles in the rivers flowing through the city, the army engineers upgraded the road system, and the theaters enjoyed having sold out shows every night.
With the onset of winter, the British generals decided to take drastic measures. They would poison the current population of Paris. The gathered all the catapults they could and brought them to the walls of Paris.
Once the catapults were in place, they gathered up all the stray dogs and cats that they could find. France had no cat or dog populations to speak of during this period so all the animals were brought over from England. The British believed that cats bread disease and that they were an unholy animal, commonly associated with sorcery. They also thought that dogs were venomous and would poison the French. (The belief in venomous dogs came from a rabies epidemic that had occurred 15 years previous to this time.)
On the command of General Weatherbottom, the dogs and cats were catapulted into the city. The French were taken completely by surprise. They had never seen a sight like the one before them. The sky was filled with fur, as canine and feline alike descended on the panicking Parisians.
Outside the city walls the British could hear the screams of the cities inhabitants. They became so afraid of the terror that they had unleashed; fearing that they too might become infected, that they began to flee. The rodent population of Paris felt even greater trepidation as they retreated into the dark underbelly of the city.
Unable to ascertain why the British had left, the French determined that these celestial creatures had delivered them from the invading army. To honor the deliverance that the cats and dogs had brought to their country, the first gourmet pet food was invented.
Over the next few years the most popular grave stone phrase in France became:
‘Regardez comme nous sommes bénis d'avoir les animaux domestiques qui nous est donnée par le ciel’
until it fell out of fashion for the still popular:
‘Quand je vous reverrai, nous allons manger toast français et crêpes avec beaucoup de garnitures’
(Translate)
Appearance in literature
It was shortly after this period that the phrase ‘Raining Cats and Dogs’ began to emerge in literature. One such poem was found in the last known copy of ‘The Tales of Geoff’ at Oxford, dated 1163.
‘Twas on the battle fields of France,
The devil danced his wicked dance.
We made it rain cats and dogs
With our catapulting logs.
It was a plan ill conceived,
for on that very winters eve
The rats all came into our homes,
And used our brushes and our combs.
We hit them with brooms and beat them with bats
But we were not dog, we were not cat
This evil we brought upon our heads,
As mice lay sleeping in our beds
To avoid our tragic, gloomy end
Make a dog or cat your friend’
People added to the meaning of the phrase ‘raining cats and dog’ to signify heavy rainfall or sleet. This modification came as a way to illustrate to children what it must have been like in Paris on that day.
Definition
1. To catapult quadrupeds at one’s enemies (common use)
2. To describe extreme precipitation (used in isolated parts of England)
